


What Now?

by Cadeaux



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 19:18:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12464190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cadeaux/pseuds/Cadeaux
Summary: Daehwi had been hopelessly in love with Jinyoung for the longest time. This work will look at just what Daehwi went through in this aching story of hopeful moments, undesired conflicts, and unrequited love.





	What Now?

**Author's Note:**

> I try and do my best to update stories whenever I can, but I can't promise I'll always be able to.
> 
> Please leave comments about my stories at radialeve@gmail.com. I speak English, Filipino, French and Italian, so if you're ever more comfortable with any of the 4, you are more than welcome to comment in those languages.
> 
> Thanks, have a super great day!

_Jinyoung,_

_I'm usually really open about my thoughts and emotions, so this letter is a surprise for the both of us._  
_I'm writing this because I can't say this to you in person. I'm writing this because the thought of having to look at you while I say these things only makes my heart feel heavier and heavier than it already is, and I can't handle another bout with my eyes to stop them from crying._

 _I can't do this anymore. The conflicts I have to go through because of our friendship brings more pain than happiness._  
_Besides, I've never seen you as happy as you are right now. But what did I do to you to deserve this kind of pain?_

_I wish you had pushed me away instead._

My hand was trembling with the last words that I wrote. I found the ink blurred up by teardrops at random places.

Why was I writing this? Why did I have to go through so much for this friendship, and there you are so much happier with someone you didn't even introduce to me until you broke the news to me.

_"I think we're dating. But we're just trying it out."_

Why didn't you try it out with me? Why was your first reaction to my confession to ignore me, then just come back at a time that was only convenient to you? Why am I pathetic enough to have my life revolve around you?

What now?

* * *

  
The first few days at a new school are always meant to be horrible experiences, but it is definitely a different story when the horrible experiences extend to about 5 months afterwards. Or the entire year, for that matter.

 **But I had made up my mind.**  
  
This was all for my mom. Ever since that day I saw her crying in the dining table, not expecting me to be awake for another 2 hours or so, I have set my sights on making sure that I give my parents the most comfortable life they could ever hope to have.  
  
_"It's fine mom! I'll make it into that school. We won't have to pay for anything for books or tuition. I'll work hard!"_

_"Thank you, Daehwi. We'll work all of this out together as a family."_

I held back tears and instead hugged my mom while she held me and ruffled my hair, then sniffled just a few more times before making me go back up to sleep. It was 3 AM.

It was a little over a year after that and just like back then, I couldn't sleep. I keep thinking about having to go that cursed school to face the annoying teachers as well as equally annoying classmates. It was 3 AM.

I waited another 2 hours for my alarm to go off and I got up, begrudgingly took my towel down and trudged down the stairs towards the bathroom. I would be alone for another hour before anyone else in this family would wake up.

I turned up the heat on the shower and let it hit my skin. The stinging always woke me up better than coffee or breakfast since God knows just how motivated people are to get moving at 5 in the morning. I went through the boring morning routine for another hour or so and was out of the door at exactly 6 AM, just in time for my mom to see me on her way down the stairs.

_"Take care, Daehwi! Don't forget that we're eating out today for your sister's birthday!"_

_"Yep, I'll see you all later."_

Her birthday almost always marked the end of the academic year at school. I looked forward to her birthday for that reason more than anything else. School would last only another week. I would finally rid myself of my overachieving classmates, all of which unable to make a single conversation last more than 2 minutes, all of which possessing incredibly high IQ's but disproportionately low EQ's. I couldn't wait to have classes mixed up and find myself with new people to make friends with. Maybe, getting out of the top section will help make this experience a lot more bearable. 

* * *

   
The last week of classes went by really quickly and fast forward 2 months later, breaks had ended and I was so glad to learn that sections really were jumbled around.

The list came up about 3 days before classes started. Not a single person on that list was someone I knew. Not a single one knew me. I knew right then and there that this was going to be an enormously better year than what it was in that insufferable hell hole from last year.

Now I was sitting near the back of the class, one row of seats already filled up behind me. I always took the seat as far from the front as possible as I was a pretty tall kid at 172 cm, and sitting in front would more or less be a less than interesting experience for the smaller kids that would have to be seated behind me. 

I arrived almost an hour before classes started and I was surprised to find that more than half of the classroom had weirdly enough, already been filled up. Groups of friends were clearly seated with each other and I found one group seated at the very back. An entire line, occupied. I took the seat directly in front of them and proceeded to bring out a single pen and a notebook to pretend I knew what I was doing. 

Now these guys obviously knew each other pretty well. Stories from the summer that had passed were being exchanged. Lots of laughter, lots of jeering and a lot of happiness.

I consider myself pretty extroverted, but their conversation never died down. A web was being woven around them with every exchange and it didn't seem like I would be getting through that anytime soon. I conceded trying to find an entry into this room they made for themselves and instead sat quietly spinning my pen around in my hand.

Our homeroom teacher came in as soon as the bell rang. 8 AM. Too early for most people, but definitely not for overly excited teenagers. 

She dealt out the basic details of what we were going to have to go through. Who she was, what she expected us to do. She called us up one at a time for an introduction; nothing too interesting aside from the visible wave of fear that came over everyone when she said that we would have to do just that. Groans were heard from every corner, with some quiet no's making their way through the air. Everybody was shushed, and we dealt with that hurdle pretty quickly, clapping or ooh-ing whenever someone said something even remotely interesting.

As was with the start of the year before, lockers were assigned on the first day. They were all lined up at the back of the room. Solid wooden yellow squares, about an entire 12 inches high, half that thick, and deep enough to house size 10 shoes. Dirty from the lack of use over the break, they needed a good amount of work to look like the bright sunshine they were painted to be in the beginning.

I got one at the very top, much to my (well repressed) joy. The kids who got the ones at the bottom didn't need to hear me being glad about comfortably reaching for my locker while they had to squat, bow, or sit just to get to there stuff.

My mom was supportive and got me one of those locks that you had to spin a middle piece around to unlock. I had memorized the pattern to unlocking it from the night before and was putting it on when I heard the group of guys from earlier that day arguing beside me.

_"Minjae that's not how the padlock works."_

_"I swear it is!"_

_"What did you do to the instructions anyway?"_

_"It didn't give me any patterns, Jinyoung! Just the numbers!"_

_"I can help."_ I said.

Two of the three heads looked towards me, obviously hoping that I knew what I was taking about. The third friend was too busy putting stickers on other people's locks to pay attention. (I knew I had to make him my friend, I didn't need pranks played on me.)

_"I have the pattern memorized."_

The kid named Minjae gave me the padlock.  _"Hey thanks! How does it work?"_

I was pretty sure he just lost the instructions, since this was the exact same as the one I had. 

_"You turn it all the way to the right 'till it gets past the first number once, then stop on it again. Go back to the left towards the second number, right onto the third number, and turn left missing the number once and landing on it on the second turn."_

*click*

_"Okay you're going to have to do that again because I missed half of what you said."_

I did it again, and by the end of the day I had become friends with an interesting trio.

I helped Minjae with his lock, had Jinyoung laughing at my jokes, and didn't get a sticker on my lock from our silly friend Jangmin.

Day 1 was looking so much better than any of my days from the year before, and it was just about to get better and better from there on out.


End file.
